Wednesday, April 21, 2010

1991 Topps Hook

AARRGGHH!!  Be ye aware, ya scurvy dawgs! Aye tells ya a tale of the baddest set of cards you e'er feasted yer eyes upon.  They be the ones regardin' the movin' picture named "Hook!"  The year was 1991, and though the stick-and-ball cards was celebratin' forty years, these were just comin' out.

There be ninety-nine cards in the set.  Oh, yeah, I can hears ya now, singing ye olde pirate ditty "99 cards of Hook in the set, 99 cards of Hook..."  Ah, but this ain't Carribean Idol here, fella!  Pay attention, or you'll end up like me ol' pal Hook!  Each of these here packs comes with eight cards and a sticker for decoratin' yer pirate chest.  You can also put them on your booty, whichever has less hair!

The cards are horrific tales of woe and despair, with treasure map style borders and pictures so small, not even the Lilliputians would hang 'em in their bedrooms!  And if that weren't enough for these salty beasts, they have cutesy little sayings on 'em.  BAH! Off with their corners!

The backsides of these scalawags tell tales about the photos on the front.  And they are just as dispicable as the pictures they tell.  You'll want TWO eye patches 'afore you gaze upon these worthless "gems."

I never did lay my eyes upon the picture show these worthless doubloons are made in the image of, and they do not tempt me to do so.

Shiver me timbers, look at the time!  I best be tossin' these onto the fire and catch a few winks 'afore the next pack rears its ugly head.


Community Gum said...

Absolutely genius post.
My comedy site, (sorry for the shameless plug) did a mashup trailer with Hook and Graduate, which we'll be posting soon. It really is a terrible, terrible movie.

--David said...

LOL, sounds great! I can't wait to check it out!