Oh, you'd like to THINK that I was making these up, that perhaps these came to me in a dream of some sort and that I fashioned them myself. Alas, these are actual cards. This is a parody set made by Pacific in 2000. Each pack has five cards and you have a 4:37 chance of pulling a scratch-n-sniff! Seriously. Seriously?
The cards themselves are actually very well-made for being parody cards. In fact, they are very slick and high gloss. I think maybe Pacific should have used this stock for their other cards. Each card features a parodied character or characters. Above, we have Gruesum and the evolution into Gruesumtwosum.
In addition to a picture, the cards feature a Sleaze Factor (SF), a Daffynition, a "Mean Skill," and a Worthlessness score (W). Notice the toilet in the lower right corner? The lower the score, the more worthless the card. I dunno, man. I think they should all be about 116/116 on the W-scale.
This is probably one of my favorites, based on the name itself.
This one actually had a TWO-TOILET rating in addition to its Worthlessness score. That's gotta be bad.
We finish out the 5-card pack with a dose of Halitosis. Yum. And I didn't even get a scratch-n-sniff.