Saturday, June 13, 2009

2007 Inkworks Shrek the Third

In a world where green ogres, talking gingerbread men and animated princesses are run-of-the-mill, DreamWorks presents an Inkworks production of Premium Trading Cards. Two summers ago, Inkworks penned a deal that would make any bog-loving ogre grin from ear to rear!

Out of the chute (pun intended), we have the Scratch-and-Stink card. Ah, there is nothing quite like being made to scratch and sniff a long woody, huh? The stated odds are "approximately 1:1 packs." They might as well have said "on average..."

Next up, we have a tat of the green man himself. These temporary tattoos come in 1:2 packs. How lucky am I!?

Hey, look, an actual trading card. This one is a Go! Wor-Ces-Ter-Shire! Go! card. They had to split up the wording on it because no one knows how to really say the stupid word. Well, even the way they did it here doesn't help... Is it Sh-eye-ur or Shur? Actually, it doesn't matter.

Look out, kids, we have a "Party Pandemonium" going on here! The back of the card reads: "What do you get when you put two ogres, a talking donkey, a swashbuckling kitty, and a ballroom full of nobles together?" The answer given is "Total Mayhem," but I'm thinking if you have a puss-in-boot two round green balls, a ball-room to put them in, and a smart-mouthed ass, this is no longer a kids movie...

So sad, "The Final Farewell" recounts the story of... some King Harold, who I guess was a frog? Yes, I saw the movie. I forgot most of it.

"Artie Reconsiders" his life as a boy-band wannabe. Besides, those groups are for the "other" animation studio across town, anyway...

Sleeping Beauty. Not the 'hot one' of the group, not that I remember or even care particularly since I am not really into the whole 'anime/hentai' thing, but there she is with mischievous smirk and all.

"Artie's Sword Trick" - really? Was there this much innuendo in the movie? I might have to watch it again. Does Artie do his "trick" with himself, in front of others, or just when the girls are around?

Yeah, so the temp-tat is the best part of the pack... At least for me. Maybe this is why I shouldn't be allowed to open packs after midnight....

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