Wednesday, May 27, 2009

1980 Topps Weird Wheels Stickers

What is a trading card company to do when they exhausted their collective talents on the Garbage Pail and Wacky Packages seriesesuses? How about Wacky Packages for vehicles!?

Before I start, I must once again bestow the warning that one should not consume gum that is probably older than most of the consumers of the Internet. Especially when said gum is broken in a zillion slivers that actually resemble the byproducts of city rat diets.... I would have scanned it, but... um... no.

Okay, bustin our waxes here, we have the Spyder. The year's model features eight wheels (of course) and a web-inspired grille. Also take note of the leg-like light ornaments. Next, I am featuring the checklist on the back of a "Black Hawk" card. You know, because I figure with this pack, collectors everywhere are going to want to know just what models were released for the big auto show...

Up next, we have the "Drag-On," a flame-spewing, dragon-looking number with wings and a tail and... goggles? Okay then... How about the "Killer Bee?" This little gem features a blood-dripping stinger, six wheels, some seriously buggin eyes, and a paint job to die for. Well, I suppose THAT depends on your allergy level. (Deepest apologies to those offended by that last statement - it was a joke...)

Surprisingly, Topps calls the next one "Samurai Subaru." Did they have to get licensing rights to use that brand? Is subaru a generic thing in Japan? Well, the drive has committed hara-kiri (though I've always pronounced it like the baseball announcer's name). I love the oil spilling out like blood. Nice touch. And lastly, we have the "Bad Humor Truck." Notice it features "POPsickles" and "MOMsickles" in a variety of frozen flavors. That is just sick. It also gives a whole new meaning to the game parents play with kids "I'm gonna eat you up...."

Side note: Did anyone grow up in a place where there actually *WAS* a Good Humor Truck? I did. I can remember it like yesterday. And, yes, they really did look like the trucks you see on the treats in your local frozen foods section... That blankety-blank driver would make us kids run for a block or more before stopping.

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